Hindu Dharma: Marriage

The chapters that exist in "Marriage" are listed in this page.

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For the Practise of Dharma Dharma, artha, kama and moksa are the four purusarthas, the four aims of life. The first of them, dharma, is a lifelong objective. The pursuit of artha (material welfare) and kama (desire, love) must be given up at a certain stage in a man's life. But so long as such a pursuit lasts, it must be based on dharma. When a man renounces the world and becomes an ascetic, he transcends dharma, but he does not go contrary to it nor speak against it. ...
 
Upanayana for Girls If brahmacarya prepares boys [or young men] to live according to dharma, what about girls? A girl has neither Upanayana nor Brahmacaryasrama. Should not a woman's mind also be disciplined like a man's. If you echo the criticism of reformers and say that injustice has been done to woman by denying them the Brahmacaryasrama and Upanayana, my answer is 'No'. Men marry after their Upanayana and ...
 
The Age of Marriage and the Law We saw that it would be best to perform a boy's upanayana when he is seven years old. A girl must be married about the same age so that she too will develop the attitude of surrender. But you will ask :' Is it possible these days? Will it not be against the law? ' It would not be ...
 
Controversy about Age of Marriage At the turn of the century, extremely influential people, among Hindus themselves, demanded the abolition of child mariage and advocated that girls ought to be married only after they attain puberty. They held meetings and passed resolutions against child marriages. Not that they were wanting in faith in the Vedas, most of them; indeed they claimed that their view had support in the scriptures themselves. Among them were distinguished men like ...
 
Eight Forms of Marriage The dharmasastras, including the Mausmrti, mention eight forms of marriage. Brahmo-daivastathaivarsah prajapatya-statha 'surah Gandharvo raksasascaiva Paisavastamah smrtah ...
 
Our Duty Now Let the authorities take their own time to change their mind. What is our immediate duty? If the limit fixed by the law for a girl's marriage is 14, 16, 18 or whatever, let us celebrate it immediately on her attaining this age. We must prepare for the day in advance, deciding in the groom and making all other arrangements for the wedding. It would be reprehensible on our part to prolong the period of waiting after a girl begins to feel the ...
 
Make Marriages Simple Girls today are sometimes married at the age of 25 or 30, far beyond the limit fixed by the law. The inability to raise the money required for the wedding is one reason for this. All the ostentation at weddings, dowry and other gifts given to the groom's people have no sanction in the sastras. To demand a suit for the gromn or a pair of boots, an expensive wrist-watch or other luxury articles is nothing but extortion. It is as good as milking ...
 
Duty of Motherhood Our women must give up their fondness for diamonds and silks. This will be great help to our family and social life. Indeed womanhood itself will stand to gain and stridharma will flourish. Woman should think of the millions of silkworms killed to make the sari with which they drape themselces. They claim that they are vegetarians. So should they not feel remorse about being indirectly responsible for the destruction of countless silkworms ...
 
Duty of the Bridegroom Young men who are contemplating marriage can also help in the matter. Ordinarily, no son should go against the wishes of his parents. It would not be proper for me to ask young men to defy their parents. In any case, nowadays they do not obey their parents as they used to in the past. So I should not [normally] encourage children to go against the wishes of their parents. I am not unaware of all this. However, I find that immense damage is ...
 
Arrangements made by the Matha Girls must be married at least at the age permitted by the law if not at the age of seven or eight. Towards this purpose we have started the Kanyakadana Trust. Daughters of poor parents must not remain unmarried after they have attained puberty merely because they have no money. The Trust extends help to conduct their marriage on a modest scale. Much merit will be earned by contributing towards such marriage expenses. ...
 
The Real Reform The law has stipulated the minimum age for marriage. I wish it had also stipulated the maximum age considering the attitude of people today. We are not in the least justified in blaming the law if girls aged 25 or 30 remain unmarried. The reason is our own indifference. Take the upanayana samskara. After all, it does not come under the Sarda Act. . Why then do we perform our son's upanayana together with his marriage when he is 30 years or so? ...
 
Working Women When the marriage of girls got delayed and they had to stay at home doing nothing, the parents wondered why their daughters should not study, go to work and start earning. The money would also come in handy when the girls were to be married. Thus started the practice of women going to work. At first the parents felt a little embarrasment or a sense of shame about doing something they thought to be improper, that is depending on the daughter's ...
 
Any Use Talking ? Samskaras such as marriage are akin to making chillies less hot by tempering them with ghee: they serve to tame the natural urges. We add ghee to the chilli so that it does not inflame the intestines. Carnal pleasure and worldly enjoyment are part of life of a householder but they are kept within certain limits so that he is not overcome by them. For a woman a life of chastity and loyalty to her husband, together with the care of the ...
 
Marriage Expenses and the Sastras Even if it is not possible for us to celebrate a marriage according to the sastras in respect of the age of the bride, could we not be true to their tenets at least in the matter of expenses? As I have made it clear so often a marriage has nothing to do with questions of money in any sense. Even though we have neither the will nor the courage to act according to the sastras in all matters, we could at least see to it that marriages are not ...
 
Three Ways to Economy I feel that the marriage expenses could be reduced in three ways. First, both men and women must discard silks and other costly wear and use clothing of the lowest quality. Second, coffee must be given up; instead wheat kanji or buttermilk may be taken as a substitute. I say this because coffee has become a habit and a substitute may be needed ...
 
Ideals of Marriage The Vedas are learned during the years of student-bachelorhood. Then the 'theory' taught has to be put into practice; in other words the rites prescribed in the Vedas must be performed. For this purpose a man has to take a helpmate after he has completed his brahmacaryasrama. This helpmate is a 'property' that can never be seperated from him. She is not meant not only to be a cook for him, not only one to give sensual ...